This morning I've made the most wrong and worst decision, but this decision actually right to make me wake: I texted him, told him how much I miss him, told him how much I suffer in this. What he replied is what I less expected, kinda cruel :) which makes me cry so sadly, but after crying I realised, IT'S TIME TO WAKE! HE'S NO MORE YOURS! HE WILL NEVER EVER COME BACK TO YOU! NO NO NEVER! Yes, Never! I have to let go of all these, I know it's gonna be very very hard, but I have to, I can't let myself down like this anymore.
After the message, I was thinking "Why is he so cruel?" The answer I get is, no matter he is really that cruel or he just act cruel so that I can let go of him, what he did is still want me to let go, he don't want me in his life anymore, he don't want me to suffer as well. Yes, this shall be the answer. No matter I wanna show revenge or I wanna thanks him, I still have to live better, this is the only way.
Now, the hardest part for me to get used is when I wake up, the feeling of LOST is really killing, but I know, once I have get used of it, I'll be a better person, I MUST! :)
And what I really hope now is I get over all this, as well as him :) One day when we both had get over, I still hope in both of our heart, we still remember, there have been a pair of lovely couple, who have brought each other so much happiness, and made both their lives more meaningful. :)
TIME TO GET RID OF THIS DRUG ADDICT! I need all my supportive friends to standby me, to be there for me to get over this :) I must back to the one I used to be, my mom's best girl, the toughest girl in my friends' eyes! God, you too have to be there for me please.
This will be the last post I post about him, the next post I write about him shall be 'I FINALLY RECOVERED!' :) I'm looking forward to it and I know I can and I must do it.
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